My name is Debbie and I’m 44 years old. I live in San Diego, California, with my husband of 9 years and my two cats.
I work from home as a contract web designer and writer, as well as a few other things. You can find out more about my business here and here. My hobbies and interests include movies and entertainment, reading, working out, shopping, and continued education.
My Body Image History
Those are the basics, but what’s really important is who I am as it relates to this blog, “Body Image Rehab.” I have been anorexic, bulimic, a compulsive overeater, an obsessive exerciser, you name it! If the eating disorder exists, I’ve probably had it at one time or another in my life.
My weight has vacillated within close to a hundred pound range. I’ve been dangerously underweight and I’ve been unhealthily overweight. Very rarely have I maintained a healthy and normal weight for any length of time. My weight has almost constantly fluctuated up and down in accordance with my destructive eating behavior.
The Common Denominator…
One common denominator for me is the hatred and disgust I’ve felt toward my body and my steadfast wish to have it be something other than what it was at any given time. This hatred has taken a huge toll on me, both psychologically and physically. I firmly believe that my many health issues have at their genesis my disdain toward my body. After all, how can a being be expected to thrive when faced with a barrage of abuse each and every day?
When I think about it, I realize that I am lucky to be alive; I’m fortunate that my body did not give out on me after being subjected to such extreme mistreatment.
Hope for the Future…
The fact that I am still here means that there is hope for me. I am middle-aged at this point and I do not want to live the rest of my life hating my body and feeling uncomfortable inside my own skin. I don’t know how much time I have left on this earth, but I do know that I yearn for peace from this decades-long struggle.
I want to be free of the tyranny of my body image battle. I don’t know how I will prevail, but I know that I will give my all to healing my relationship with my body and myself.
